Where Does The Time Go?

Been busy. Been lazy. Been not caring about this place. Usual excuses, and none of them very good. But links are always good.

1. I’d rather go naked than wear fur? Hardly! But how about going naked when wearing clothes? Probably not safe for work.

http://themightysven.carbonmade.com/projects/37941#1

2. Website destruction. Dog crap, plagues from God, etc. I suggests using the Huffington Post as the target.

http://www.netdisaster.com/

3. Misheard lyrics. Examples from the site include:

Robert Palmer’s Addicted to Love.
The real lyrics were:
Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love.

But I misheard them as:
Might as well face it, you’re a dick with a glove.

or:

Pink Floyd’s Comfortably Numb
The real lyrics were:
My hands felt just like two balloons.

But I misheard them as:
My head smelled just like tuba lube.

Hours of enjoyment for the entire family… Or just another way to make fun of people.

http://www.kissthisguy.com/

And with that, I’m too lazy to post anything else.

Games And Things For The White Trash In You

1. I have to post this one first since it scares the hell out of me that some people actually believe the sea-hag is worthy of the White House. She’s not no (double negative intentional) “Stand by your man kind of woman” as she once said. She’s a free thinker who also thinks it’s a good idea to drop in to a Southern accent when speaking in a black Alabama church.

http://www.ifilm.com/profile/breitbart/video/2829104

 If that doesn’t scare you, this country is in a world of hurt.

Look, Bush isn’t all I thought he’d be. I’m man enough to admit that. I was hoping for Reagan, but what I got was a wishy-washy border policy and a fool who refuses to veto all the wild spending. But… While I’m upset with Bush, I’d take him over Kerry, Gore, and Clinton any day.

2.  Connect the dots for retards. Play “Spot the lesbian.” Have a look at the page (it’s safe for work) and see if you can tell who is a lesbian and who is not. Hint: If you pick every person on the following page as being a lesbian, you are correct!

 http://www.mulletjunky.com/femullets.htm

3. I miss playing dominoes with my great grandmother. We’d play for hours when I was a child. And while this is not the same, it’s close enough for now.

http://www.donutgames.com/play/domino/

It’s Like A New Car

Only it’s worse than that. At least I can pay monthly for a new car. If you play the game, you will know what I’m talking about, and those that don’t will write this post off as some WoW geek muttering about a cat and money. And that’s beside the point since no matter the cost, or my mutterings, it is a sweet freaking ride.

A Happy Valentine’s Day To All

Random junk with a touch of love.

1. It’s like Donkey Kong Jungle Beat with Weezer.

Or something like that.

Enough games! Back to the evil that is V-Day….

2.  No girlfriend? No wories! There’s always porn. Or for those of you that are too stupid to find porn on line, you can porn your page.

Kinda safe for work

3. The saying goes “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Actually, that’s a bunch of crap. The way to a man’s heart is wearing sexy clothes and lots of dirty talk. And if you can’t manage that, try some dirty sounding food.

Some personal favorites include Jussi Pussi and Vergina beer

4. And finally, the joy and wonder that is love brought to life by the great poet Peter Wolf… What? You wanted a sonnet from Edna St. Vincent Millay or Shakespeare? Think again!

Love Stinks

(P. Wolf/S. Justman)

You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
Ya just can’t win

And so it goes
Till the day you die
This thing they call love
It’s gonna make you cry
I’ve had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing’s for sure Love stinks

Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah

Two by two and side by side
Love’s gonna find you yes it is
Ya just can’t hide
You’ll hear it call
Your heart will fall
Then love will fly
It’s gone that’s all

I don’t care what any Casanova thinks
All I can say is
Love stinksLove stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah

I’ve been through diamonds
I’ve been through minks
I’ve been through it all
Love stinks

Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks yeah yeah

Love stinks

Heh-Heh-Heh

Hiker beats off mountain lion that had husband’s head in its mouth

How much do you pay a mountain lion for a threesome?

Ok, so maybe it’s not that dirty.

A hiker saved her husband’s life with a branch and a ball-point pen after a mountain lion clamped his head in its jaws.Jim Hamm, 70, was trailing behind his wife, Nell, 65, near the end of a ten-mile trail through the Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park, California, when the puma pounced and pinned him face-down to the ground. “He didn’t scream. It was a different, horrible plea for help, and I turned around and by then the cat had wrestled Jim to the ground,” Mrs Hamm said.

Some Things Are Meant To Be Posted

Saw this elsewhere and had to put it here just in case I needed a laugh and couldn’t find it again.

muslim rave, or Iraq and roll dance party

Pepper-rific

See… I can write those annoying newspaper catch-headlines just as well as the morons who spent all that time in journalism school.

There are few bands today that can classify themselves as icons. When you think rock legends that have stood the test of time, you think The Who, The Stones, Pink Floyd, Beatles… There’s more, but the list is relatively small. My classification of icon is any group or person that can survive a generation and still pull in new converts. The above bands are staples of almost three generations. I’d like to add one more to that list.

On Saturday I went to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I’ve seen them before, but this time took notice of the crowd. In my section we had a guy in his 40’s, my group in their 30’s, a group of people in their 20’s, and three kids (frightening to use the term kids) in their teens. That is a rare event if you think about it. What I was looking at was a two generation gap of fans. How many bands can claim that? Put another way: I like “Old Journey” aka: 1975-1982 Journey. I’ve seen them many times, but doubt I will ever see them again. They just don’t make good music anymore, and their base is limited to the 30+ crowd. The same can be said for someone like POE. I like her music, but wouldn’t go to see her for fear of being labeled a pervert hanging around all the 13 year-olds her music is geared towards.  Journey and POE are two completely different groups/people I appreciate, that have serious problems attracting others outside of a certain age bracket.

Where I’m going with this is few groups today can appeal to a mass audience, and continue to put out great music year after year. In an age of throw away bands (just about any rap group) and made up teen singers (Spears and her counterparts) it’s good to see the Peppers are still doing what they do and improving each time a new record comes out. They are one group that does it right. And it looks like they can continue to do so…… Just as long as they can keep Flea and John Frusciante from singing solo.

What The Hell?

Headlines from January 5th. 

 1. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger will propose that all Californian children, including those in the state illegally, be guaranteed medical insurance as part of the health-care overhaul he intends to unveil next week.

Story here

2. An agreement the Bush administration reached with Mexico on Social Security benefits would allow illegal aliens granted amnesty in the future to claim credit for the time they worked illegally.

Story here

3. According to the Border Patrol, an unknown number of gunmen attacked the site in the state’s West Desert Region around 11 p.m. The site is manned by National Guardsmen. Those guardsmen were forced to retreat.

Story here

Has anyone seen or heard from “W” recently? Not that he cares about what is happening on the border, or the country, but I thought he might be able to offer some kind-hearted, warm and fuzzy explanation about why he’s napping when we are being overrun.

The Horrors Of War

 That’s me on the left along with the guy who gave me the game.

Santa was good to me this year despite the nasty things I said about him in the 12 Links of Christmas posts. One item I received from a friend was World of Warcraft. Cool gift, right? But this is were the evil sets in. I work from home… I have W.O.W…. I have free time during the day… This leads to a problem. I have to decide between afternoon naps I love so dearly, or bleeding eyes from playing this damn game! I’m now a level 15 elf. Ain’t I special?

May God help me….

The 12 Links Of Christmas Part 12

 Santa (shown above) delivering 20 mm “Christmas gifts” to terrorists.

This is actually a multi-link post, so enjoy the added goodness.

1. When I hit the newsgroups, I’m looking for music. Starting around November there is always a deluge of Christmas music posted. Doing a little searching elsewhere I came across a site filled with 17 pages of mp3s from artists and songs as diverse as Queen’s Thank God It’s Christmas (Love that song), and Fuel’s We Three Kings, to classics from Johnny Mathis and Sinatra. Load up those CD burners and enjoy!

Santa says download these songs now!

And here’s a site with wav files:

Santa doesn’t like wav files as much as mp3s, but is happy to get what he can.

2. I found the following poem on line a few weeks back. While I have no children, I’d like to think the following verse represents all that is truly good and right with Christmas:

Dear Santa

Snowflakes softly falling
Upon your window they play
Your blankets snug around you,
Into sleep you drift away

I bend to gently kiss you,
when I see that on the floor
there’s a letter, neatly written
I wonder who it’s for.

I quietly unfold it
making sure you’re still asleep,
It’s a Christmas list for Santa
one my heart will always keep.

It started just as always
with the toys seen on TV,
a new watch for your father
and a winter coat for me.

But as my eyes read on
I could see that deep inside
there were many things you wished for
that your loving heart would hide.

You asked if your friend Molly
could have another Dad;
It seems her father hits her
and it makes you very sad.

Then you asked Santa
if the neighbors down the street
Could find a job, that he might have
some food, and clothes, and heat.

You saw a family on the news
whose house had blown away,
“Dear Santa, send them just one thing,
a place where they can stay.”

“And Santa, those four cookies that
I left you for a treat,
Could you take them to the children
who have nothing else to eat.”

“Do you know that little bear I have
the one I love so dear?
I’m leaving it for you to take
to Africa this year.”

“And as you fly your reindeer
on this night of Jesus’ birth,
Could your magic bring to everyone
good will and peace on earth.”

“There’s one last thing before you go,
so grateful I would be,
If you’d smile at Baby Jesus
in the manger by our tree.”

I pulled the letter close to me’
I felt it melt my heart.
Those tiny hand had written
what no other could impart.

“And a little child shall lead them,”
was whispered in my ear
As I watched you sleep on Christmas Eve
while Santa Claus was here.

–Author Unknown–

 3. For today’s final link, it’s all about giving and being thankful.

I’m thankful for my family who, for some reason, thought it might be a good idea to allow me to join the family business many years ago. I’m also thankful I proved their decision to be a correct one.

I’m thankful for my friends and their ability to put up with me.

Most important, I’m thankful for the true meaning of this holiday.

So, at the risk of bringing the wrath of the aclu down on me, I would like to wish everyone a wonderful Christmas. May you be blessed in the coming year.

I offer this Christmas card from me to you:

Dogs, snow, and pubs… Merry Christmas.