Vin’s Turn

December 2, 2005


I really don’t care about Vin Diesel, and I see his acting as one step below Sly Stalone. Call him “Sly Stalone’s mentally challenged brother” or Stalone lite, if you want, since both fit… But, as a free market guy, you gotta respect someone like Vin who found an area to make an honest buck.

Anyway, I had a list of “bad ass facts” for Chuck Norris about a few days ago, and I find this list just as offensively funny as Chuck’s list. So now, I’m pleased to give you Vin Diesel’s list of being a serious bad ass.

To attain inner peace, Vin Diesel eats Buddhists.

On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Vin Diesel invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy’s. When asked why he doesn’t do this Vin replied “Because Grammy’s are for queers.” Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

The eternal conundrum “what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object” was finally solved when Vin Diesel punched himself in the face.

Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi’s Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children’s hospital.

Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose’s shit.

Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his “Filet of Child” sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

More at the link above.


2 Responses to “Vin’s Turn”

  1. Peakah Says:

    You’re killing me dude…

  2. wanda Says:

    “Call him “Sly Stalone’s mentally challenged brother” or Stalone lite”
    Oddly enough, I was thinking just the opposite!

    Sly’s ass was never THAT fine!–>

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