Yo! NBA Raps? (Going Old School For That Title)

May 19, 2006

For those scratching their head on the subject line, see here.

Item 1. I’m not much of a basketball fan anymore. Although I played the game religiously as a kid, I wasn’t very good. I’m white, and was 5’11” by the time I was in 7th grade, so that helped. But something happened about the time Michael Jordan came on the scene (1984 or so) that made me despise the game… besides than the fact that now everyone else who played the game was as tall as me, or taller, and could dribble around me like I was standing still.

Jordan was a man unlike any other, a true player with the skill to sink 3-pointers at will, take a flying jam from the top of the key, or reject whatever an opponent throw up. And he did all this without losing his composure game to game. Yes, I know there were some blow-ups, but rarely did you hear of that happening. Along with his skill, the trash followed. Maybe Jordan opened the way for true showboating, and from that point on everything went to hell in the NBA. It’s a thought.

There has always been some trash talk and bad boys in any sport, that’s just part of the machismo, but when did it become acceptable to be a one man team?: Charles Barkley yelling at refs, fans, players, or Latrell Sprewell strangling his coach, or Ron Artest and others throwing punches at fans in the stands, Dennis Rodman’s cross-dressing freak show, tattoos on almost everyone, or many others with million dollar endorsement deals, multi-million dollar contracts, and even singing rap CD deals. By the way, someone tell Shaq to go work on his free throws. He can rhyme and take acting lessons when he retires.

But, as always, the free market side of me says they have every right to get what they can from anyone that will give it to them, in exchange for the services they offer as the player of a child’s game. Everything above and beyond that is gravy for these spoiled bastards. And, being an adult playing a child’s game for a living can cause adults to have the mentality of a child. That appears to have happened with most in the NBA.

I’m picking on basketball because that’s what season it is. Come back in four months and I’ll be bitching about Terrell Owens playing for the Cowboys.

The reason for the diatribe above is to get to this: Out of the teams remaining in the playoffs, Dallas is one of the less spoiled brat teams of the league. How is that possible? It is with a grudging heart that I say thank you Mark Cuban, nerd boy extraordinaire, for putting together a team and a coach the city can be proud of.

The Dallas Mavericks are poised to finally go all the way. Can it happen? If not this year, more than likely the next. They’ve shown they can stand up to, and even beat San Antonio, most of the time.

In honor of their achievements this year, I’d like to present this praise to the Dallas Mavericks, Wigga Style:

Icy Hot Dumbasses

Here’s the deal: If you’re black and can rap, I won’t listen to you. If you’re white and can rap, I still won’t listen to you, but there’s a good chance I’ll laugh at how ridiculous you look doing it. Also, put your freaking cap on straight!

Item 2. Oh yeah… What’s in the CD player this week? Hint: It’s not rap music.

A. The New Pornographers: Twin Cinema

B. Sister Hazel: Something More Familiar

C. Prince: 3121

D. Say Anything Soundtrack

E. Smokey Robinson: The Ultimate Collection


One Response to “Yo! NBA Raps? (Going Old School For That Title)”

  1. Richard Says:

    You have the new Prince CD and you haven’t burned me a copy?


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