Fashion Week For The Clueless

June 11, 2007

I never got the whole idea behind fashion. Face it, I’m a guy. And while I prefer to be presentable, I don’t go out of my way to be a trendsetter with the clothing I wear. I think it’s better that way. I’ve also never understood the fascination with shopping. When I shop I want to get in and get out. My last girlfriend also said that I have the same approach to love making, but that’s a story for another time… Anyway, shopping for clothes. I know what I want to buy before I go into a store. If I’m looking for a pair of jeans I head straight for the jeans section and pull two or three pair. I try them on in under 5 minutes and if they fit I head right to the checkout counter. Women are wired differently in that respect since I can’t figure out the desire to be in one store for three hours. There’s also no need for me to compare designs or fabric, unlike women with their strange need to try on everything in the store and ask their shopping friends how it looks on them.

So I’m glad I’m a guy, and also glad I’ll never purchase anything from the links below.

1. Buy yourself some Hippie Skivies. By the way, the two models shown on the page are the farthest removed from being hippies out of anyone I have ever seen. Show me a couple of hairy, disheveled, scruffy people wearing your product after 3 months of not taking a bath and I’ll believe in your advertising. One question: Do hippies even wear underwear?

2. The best way to show everyone you are a hipster… or a complete moron… is do-it-yourself shoe design.

3. Finally, forget making your own shoes!!! Have some made for you… Like a pair of KISS boots, Star Wars boots, or God help you people if you do… Batman boots.

If you order today, for only $30.00, I’ll send you a replica of Jimmy Buffet’s soiled flip-flops.


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