A Christmas Wish

December 4, 2009

It’s been over a year since I posted anything. Not that it matters since nobody reads this anymore, but that’s OK. The links on the right are still some of my favorite haunts, and I’m still around whether I post a comment on one of those sites, or make some arbitrary post here…   But I don’t know if I’ve just grown out of the “blog” craze and moved on to the “Facebook” craze (for a while anyway), or just tired of the getting into my blog mindset of posting odd links and stories. The blog was always for me to spout off childish rantings, and nothing else. By that, I mean I wasn’t looking to be Little Green Footballs, but I could goof off anonymously. But now it just makes no sense to continue any of this. I’ve been off for over a year, and had no desire to post anything. So more than likely this will be it. The last post. The final rant. The blog will stay of course. It’s too full of nutty goodness to delete, but I just don’t see any reason to put effort into a site I really don’t care about. So…..

It was a good 3+ year run. Lingo, Peekah, PJ, Kami, Sam… You are all good people, and I’ve been damn lucky to know a little bit about all of you. This post goes out to you.

I posted this two years ago, but it never hurts to relive the old things.

A Christmas card for you:


And a poem that sums up the true meaning of Christmas:

Dear Santa,

Snowflakes softly falling
Upon your window they play
Your blankets snug around you,
Into sleep you drift away

I bend to gently kiss you,
when I see that on the floor
there’s a letter, neatly written
I wonder who it’s for.

I quietly unfold it
making sure you’re still asleep,
It’s a Christmas list for Santa
one my heart will always keep.

It started just as always
with the toys seen on TV,
a new watch for your father
and a winter coat for me.

But as my eyes read on
I could see that deep inside
there were many things you wished for
that your loving heart would hide.

You asked if your friend Molly
could have another Dad;
It seems her father hits her
and it makes you very sad.

Then you asked Santa
if the neighbors down the street
Could find a job, that he might have
some food, and clothes, and heat.

You saw a family on the news
whose house had blown away,
“Dear Santa, send them just one thing,
a place where they can stay.”

“And Santa, those four cookies that
I left you for a treat,
Could you take them to the children
who have nothing else to eat.”

“Do you know that little bear I have
the one I love so dear?
I’m leaving it for you to take
to Africa this year.”

“And as you fly your reindeer
on this night of Jesus’ birth,
Could your magic bring to everyone
good will and peace on earth.”

“There’s one last thing before you go,
so grateful I would be,
If you’d smile at Baby Jesus
in the manger by our tree.”

I pulled the letter close to me’
I felt it melt my heart.
Those tiny hand had written
what no other could impart.

“And a little child shall lead them,”
was whispered in my ear
As I watched you sleep on Christmas Eve
while Santa Claus was here.

–Author Unknown–

May the spirit of Christmas follow you throughout your life and may your troubles be few.

Merry Christmas, y’all!


1. I have to post this one first since it scares the hell out of me that some people actually believe the sea-hag is worthy of the White House. She’s not no (double negative intentional) “Stand by your man kind of woman” as she once said. She’s a free thinker who also thinks it’s a good idea to drop in to a Southern accent when speaking in a black Alabama church.


 If that doesn’t scare you, this country is in a world of hurt.

Look, Bush isn’t all I thought he’d be. I’m man enough to admit that. I was hoping for Reagan, but what I got was a wishy-washy border policy and a fool who refuses to veto all the wild spending. But… While I’m upset with Bush, I’d take him over Kerry, Gore, and Clinton any day.

2.  Connect the dots for retards. Play “Spot the lesbian.” Have a look at the page (it’s safe for work) and see if you can tell who is a lesbian and who is not. Hint: If you pick every person on the following page as being a lesbian, you are correct!


3. I miss playing dominoes with my great grandmother. We’d play for hours when I was a child. And while this is not the same, it’s close enough for now.


Is it wrong to have impure thoughts about the woman in this Christmas video? Something about the librarian look…

Anyway, there’s a point in your life as a rock star where you need to hang up the amp because you just look foolish doing the same shtick you did 20 years ago. Not that these guys didn’t always look foolish, but when your leather pants allow the bulge from your gut to overtake the bulge in your pants, it’s time to release a greatest hits album and fade away.

But it’s the Christmas season, so some things can be overlooked. Like the site says, wait a couple of minutes into the video… It does get better… or worse… depending on your mental state.

View it here:

Have a Twisted Christmas courtesy of Dee and the boys

Get the CD at Amazon, and let your family know you are a sick individual with no redeeming values.

Other songs from their new Christmas CD include:

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
White Christmas
I’ll Be Home For Christmas
Silver Bells
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow
Deck The Halls
The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire)

And this rendition of The 12 Days of Christmas:

On my heavy metal Christmas my true love gave to me,
12 Silver crosses
11 Black mascaras
10 Pairs of platforms
9 Tattered t-shirts
8 Pentagrams
7 Leather jackets
6 Cans of hairspray
5 Skull earrings
4 Quarts of Jack
3 Studded belts
2 Pairs of spandex pants
And a tattoo of Ozzy!

May baby Jesus forgive them.

Santa Claus is a mean-spirited, dictatorial tyrant. Sure… He gives gifts to kids… But I think that’s a ruse to hide his true nature. In the following film you will see multiple incidents that show Santa is nothing more than self-centered bastard concerned only with the bottom line. Don’t believe me? Have a look at the following video..

Santa’s hero is Che Guevara

When Santa comes to your house, he poops down your chimney. Don’t believe me? Have a look at this picture:

 That’s not coal in your stocking!!!!!

Now you can fight back with the Santa Sling. See how far you can toss the old man, so he stays away from your chimney!


All Hail Sata… I mean Santa.

Driving through the blood
In a 4 barrel carb hearse
O’er the fields we go
Dead drunk but I’ve been worse.

Got my skull-face ring
Noose-like necktie tight
Oh what fun it is to sing a SLAYER song tonight..


Some things in this world are just not right. This is tops on the list. Who knew Jesus was a thrasher?

Can I Get A Hell Yeah?!

December 9, 2006

More sweet-sweet teacher loving. I think it’s now a prerequisite that if you are a teacher, and wish to have affairs with any of your male students, you must be blond. And that’s fine with me. The teacher, Carrie McCandless, enters stage right…

Original story at the link below:

Teacher luvin’

 Highlights include:

1.  carried on a romance with a 17-year-old student, which included the exchange of 76 text messages in a single day, according to her arrest affidavit.

…the boy wrote that he was cold, and she responded, “Just pretend you’re here sweating with me.”

2. The teacher also supplied the students she was chaperoning on a late-October field trip with alcohol.

3. McCandless and the boy “made out” in a car outside a Sam’s Club for about 45 minutes, he told police.

4. The boy brought a bottle of Everclear grain alcohol on the trip that he told police “they were all drinking.” He said McCandless also “brought up a bottle of Jack Daniels for them to drink” and shared it with him.

5. Other students told police that they observed McCandless and the boy sneaking away repeatedly, presumably to smoke and drink, for 30 to 45 minutes at a time.

6. That night, after the other students had gone to bed, McCandless and the boy “made out” on the floor in the front room of the cabin, where another boy was sleeping on a nearby couch. The boy involved with McCandless later told police that they simulated sex with their clothes on.